creative, funny

chemistry comedy : part three

Thanks for walking home with us. We’re glad to have you,” Calcium said cordially, with only a hint of obligation marking his tone.

One of the newest kids in school – Boron from a few blocks over – was accompanying them through the neighborhood after school today. His muddy brown hair fell into his face almost recklessly, and his posture displayed his confidence… or, lack thereof. Boron gave a shy smile but wouldn’t meet anyone’s gaze.

While Hydrogen watched in horror, Copper kept attempting to latch a vibrant “down with trees,” pro-deforestation keychain onto Argon’s backpack. Swinging the geometric, pure white tote across his shoulder better, Argon unknowingly hindered Copper’s progress. Copper smirked, but appeared to remain determined.

Argon turned back for a moment and said, with an approving nod, “Nice shirt, Boron.”

Calcium glanced down at Boron, noticing the boy’s shirt up close for the first time. “That is a nice shirt, Boron. Haven’t I seen you in it before?”

Boron automatically glanced down at the faded brown t-shirt. It had a family of cartoon rocket ships gathered around a bulletin board. Underneath it was a quote, which said “Space Rules – July 2018

“Hahaaaa, that quote!” Helium stumbled forward from the back of the group. Her shoes were a size too big, but she didn’t mind. Revising her pace with a giggle, she now pointed enthusiastically at Boron’s chest. “I get it. Space rules… the bulletin board has the… yeah, I get it.” She laughed again. “Hey, that’s the shirt everyone was wearing a few summers ago!”

“Yeah… I kinda like it.” Boron’s smile displayed his love for the shirt, with more than a hint of embarrassment on the side.

“Everyone has that shirt. Boron, don’t you feel like everyone else when you wear it?”

“Individuality is a virtue,” Hydrogen chimed in, and she and Helium nodded at each other. Hydrogen’s hands were stuffed in her metallic white coat… on a warm spring day. She believed the sweat it brought to her brow helped her to understand the world’s suffering better.

“Those other shirt-wearers better watch out,” Boron said, somewhat softly, his words mumbling together. He smiled again. “Boron’s comin’.”

Boron the moron,” Copper softly chanted. Responding with nothing more than an extra blink, Boron watched as Argon swatted at Copper, who ducked and stepped down to the road. Having successfully avoided the attack, the redhead snickered and shifted his backpack around.

“Don’t listen to him, Boron.” Calcium put a reassuring hand on the kid’s shoulder.

“That’s alright.” Boron focused on the metal rod he was flipping through his fingers like a baton.

“Maybe one day, you’ll be able to hear again.” Helium gave Boron’s other shoulder a pat-rub. Calcium raised an eyebrow.

“Alright Bore, which one’s your house?” Making a stance on the sidewalk, Copper eyed the two possible houses to their left, pretending to make a decision. “Which one could it be…” he added theatrically, trailing off with a flare.

The two houses in question could not have been more different. The first was architecturally beautiful, with pristine landscaping and a welcoming front porch. The second looked as though its inhabitants could scarcely manage to make their way to the front door safely.

When Boron began his ascent up the drive to the welcoming home, Copper’s jaw dropped. But it snapped back up when Argon flicked his glance his way. “Some people still manage to surprise you,” Argon said, almost inquisitively.

Copper lifted his chin in a self-righteous manner, a defiant grin lighting his eyes. “Only when I allow it.”

Hey guys!! I hope you enjoyed part three of chemistry comedy! 😂👏 if you’re new to the series, this is where I personify the elements according to their unique properties, then I give them personalities that are entertaining and relatable. 💙 they’re really fun to write and I enjoy it so much!

I got the idea for Boron as the shy new kid and I HAD to write about him. I had other plans for new elements to introduce, but he was just nudging me to spotlight him, haha!

At the end of each short story, I include the elemental properties I referenced to help me shape the characters. You can read it to understand the stories more, but it’s also optional!

  • Hydrogen is
    • nontoxic (she doesn’t get caught up in drama)
    • tasteless (she agreed with Helium over the non-individuality of Boron’s shirt lol + she was fine to wear a jacket even though it was hot…)
    • an atomic weight of 1 (she has a one-track mind and likes one-word sentences)
    • (source)
  • Helium:
    • has a very low density (she confuses things and can be quite gullibleshe bought the wrong size of shoes and thought Calcium said Boron can’t hear)
    • can make people light-headed and silly (she finds simple things funny)
    • is a noble gas (so she’s close friends with Hydrogen and Argon, who are also gases)
    • (source)
  • Copper:
    • is a reddish metal (he has reddish-brown hair)
    • reflects red and orange light (gets along well with Argon)
    • is an awesome conductor of heat and electricity (gets a huge kick out of gossip and drama)
    • (source)
  • Argon is
    • nontoxic (doesn’t care for gossip or drama)
    • has ‘no confirmed stable compounds at room temp’ (doesn’t make close connections with friends)
    • has ‘excited state complexes’ (can be very passionate, especially about meaningful causes, such as saving the planet and space missions)
    • (source)
  • Boron:
    • is dark-brown to black (he’s wearing a faded brown shirt and has brown hair)
    • is resistant to heat (he heard what the girls were saying about his shirt, but it didn’t get to him)
    • is a poor conductor of electricity (tried to ‘threaten’ other people wearing the shirt he liked but it fell short)
    • is used in nuclear control rods (he was twirling a metal rod/baton)
    • (source)
  • Calcium:
    • is silvery-white (he likes wearing white t-shirts and silver-framed glasses)
    • is a great alloying agent (he matched Copper and Beryllium as a coupleprevious story)
    • promotes peace and harmony (calcium helps us to have strong bones and a good immune system)
    • (source)

Wanna peruse the Periodic Table yourself? Click here!

WHICH ELEMENT/S are YOUR FAVORITE? What storyline should I place the elements in NEXT? LET’S CHAT IN THE COMMENTS!

29 thoughts on “chemistry comedy : part three”

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