Brushing her silver-neon green hair over one shoulder, Hydrogen carefully filed her nails one by one. She’d had the idea to style each nail into completely different shapes, a notion which appalled Argon and delighted Helium.
Argon stared at her warily from across the table. “The simplest things intrigue you, don’t they, Hyd?”
“She asked you not to call her that,” Helium declared, sitting up straighter as she stood up for her friend. Her purple eye shadow was practically glowing, contrasting with her neon orange nails. A smile suddenly lighted her face, eliciting a chuckle. “Although you know, Hydrogen – Dr. Jeykll and Mr… Hyde. Get it? Hyd? English class, third period?”
“Yeah, I do.” Hydrogen’s one-track mind provided her with great focus, but it didn’t allow for interest in cafeteria conversations.
Taking a loud bite out of a carrot, Argon dipped the second half in a bowl of salsa. “Oh, hey guys,” he suddenly said, passion lighting his eyes, “did you hear what the professor said about animal agriculture today? There are many things I must learn now. I had absolutely no idea such practices existed. More people need to know.”
Nodding absently, Helium giggled again, tickled by her own train of thought.
“Heeeeey dudes,” someone said as they sidled up to the table. He had a tray balanced articulately by his side, a devious grin sidling his lips. His glasses were mixed in his reddish-brown hair, despite the fact that he was supposed to wear them at all times. “Did you hear about Uranium?”
“Hi Copper,” Argon mumbled as its namesake plopped down beside him. “Who hasn’t?”
“He’s never gonna live that down. I mean, whatcha gonna do when your entire family is genetically corrupt?”
“I wouldn’t go that far.” Helium reached over to retrieve Copper’s milk, who never drank it because ‘why bother when soda exists.’ “I’m sure a cure for radioactivity is in the works, Cop.”
“Now there’s a nickname he can’t have,” Argon spoke up, using a carrot as a pointer.
“Finished!” Hydrogen’s favorite way of speaking was by enlisting one-word phrases. She held up her hands for all to see.
“Splendid,” Copper breathed, admiring them closely with feigned interest.
“What about our English project, guys?” Helium whined. She felt like no one was paying attention to her. “Romeo and Juliet is so romantic. Happy endings are the best.”
Argon snickered at the lovestruck expression on Helium’s face. He couldn’t be the one to tell her she had a strange definition of ‘happy endings.’
“Maybe next week, Heliy.” Copper grinned at her conspiratorially. “D’ja know turning in late gets you extra credit?”
“Maybe extra time in detention, Copper,” Argon said, hitting his friend endearingly.
“Let’s just get to class on time.” Hydrogen had a serene smile on her face, as if success in school made one saintly.
“Will do.” Argon stood up, bringing Copper with him. “You coming, Blush?”
Helium’s face colored instantly. “You said you’d never call me that.”
“Cafeteria’s dismissed!” Copper clapped his hands dismissively, ducking when Argon swatted at him.
In a burst of energy, they all retrieved themselves from the table and headed off to their respective classes, Hydrogen bringing up the rear.
Hey guys! When I had the idea for this short story series, I instantly fell in love with it. Chemistry Comedy is a fun chemistry story in which I personify the elements the way I see them, based loosely off of their physical properties and chemical reactions.
Whether you love chemistry or it’s one of your least favorite subjects, this can be an interesting, hilarious way to get to know the elements a little better!
You can read these stories with or without the element overview I’ll provide after each one. I really love connecting all the pieces, which is why I’m providing the inspiration directly! But I understand if you’re not interested, as it gets a little complicated 😀
Here’s what I used to give the elements personality:
- Hydrogen is
- nontoxic (she’ll have noting to do with drama)
- tasteless (she didn’t realize how weird filing her nails into different shapes is)
- has an atomic weight of 1 (she has a one-track mind and likes one-word sentences).
- Helium is
- insipid (she really liked Hydrogen’s nails)
- colorless (it embarrassed her when Argon brought up the fact that she blushes)
- has a very low density (she confuses things and can be quite gullible)
- can make people light-headed and silly (she finds simple things funny)
- is a noble gas (so she’s close friends with Hydrogen and Argon, who are also gases).
- Argon is
- nontoxic (doesn’t care for gossip or drama)
- has ‘no confirmed stable compounds at room temp’ (doesn’t make close connections with friends)
- has ‘excited state complexes’ (can be very passionate about meaningful causes, such as animal agriculture).
- Copper is
- a reddish metal (he has reddish-brown hair)
- reflects red and orange light (gets along well with Argon and Neon)
- is an awesome conductor of heat and electricity (gets a huge kick out of gossip and drama).
- Uranium is
- radioactive (which in this story is the equivalent to having an infectious disease, which Helium thinks can be cured despite its genetic quality lol).
technical error: I accidentally mixed up Argon and Neon’s glow when researching the elements, so I gave Argon the red/orange tendency of Neon in this story (eg. having him eat carrots and salsa). I’ll correct it in later installments.
I’m going to be working on doodles soon to create character profiles for the elements! It’s gonna be a lot of fun 😍😍
I’d love to hear from you: