Hello! Welcome back to Chickadee Lover Maggie, the blog where I write about what I’m learning, enjoying, and feeling passionate about! Today I bring you a post inspired in part by a conversation I was having with my mom last night.
I was thinking about how detrimental it is when we find ourselves surrounded by people (in real life, on social media, YouTube, tv, etc.) that do not allow us to be the version of ourselves we desire to be.
It’s hindering, painful, confusing, hopeless – when we’re holding our lives up to everyone else’s, it hurts because there will always be someone who has more, less, or different than we do.
“The problem with comparison is that you always feel either better than someone else or worthless compared to someone else.” – Dillon Burroughs
While pondering this topic recently, I was trying to figure out why it’s so painful for me to watch YouTubers who portray leading such a different life than I do. I wanted to understand why watching movies with romantic relationships and best-friend-forever friendships hurts so much, and why Instagram instantly zaps my contentment away.
It made me realize that human beings are designed to acknowledge and respond to what we see.
Long before the age of social media,
digital technology, and photoshop,
what you saw is what you got.
That hasn’t been true for many, many years.
“If comparison is the thief of joy, then our culture is being robbed blind.” – Jon Foreman
The content that comes out online, on the news, in the entertainment industry, on the cover of magazines – it’s hard to pick out anything that even resembles the truth.
I can’t tell you how many YouTube subscriptions I’ve gone through, social media platforms I’ve disconnected myself from, and friendships I’ve allowed to end because they all took from my life instead of adding to it.
Have you ever compared yourself to how someone else is choosing to allow certain things to influence their life?
One time, I found out a YouTuber I watched was subscribed to 800 channels, and I was like, man. I wish I had that many channels to watch. I should subscribe to more channels.
I’ve known people on Instagram who’ve had their account since 2011, which has made me go, gosh I’d love to have a social media account for that long. I should stop deleting my accounts and commit like they did.
Comparison makes you forget why you did what you did.
There’s a difference between comparison and inspiration. Sometimes, what another person is doing can be the push we need to do what we’ve been wanting to for a long time. You can always tell which one is at play in your thoughts: comparison leads to discontentment, and inspiration is motivating and positive!
Comparison makes us want a different reality, but inspiration adds to our life and builds us up.
It is SO important to be aware of what’s influencing us. It’s been hard for me to pull myself away from situations I was getting hurt in, because I’ve wanted so desperately to be part of those social scenes in a way that was positive and uplifting. But I had to acknowledge the truth of what was happening. I can’t force myself to feel differently than I do.
There are situations in our life where we’re not in control of – who we live with, work with, and go to school with, for example. These can’t be easily changed by us in a day (but wouldn’t it be great if we had the ability to unsubscribe from all of that sometimes?). Instead of focusing on what we can’t do, let’s focus on what we can do!
If you feel like you need a refresh on the influences in your life, here are some ideas of things I’ve done (and consistently do!) to get you started.
- read the blogs that make you smile, inspire you, and are authored by your blogging friends.
- watch YouTube videos that brighten your day, teach you something, and remind you to enjoy life.
- pin things on Pinterest that you’re passionate about, plan on doing, and put you in a creative mood.
- listen to music that you enjoy dancing and singing along to.
- talk to people online who offer companionship, aren’t judgmental, and who allow you to be yourself.
- decorate your room with your favorite things that you enjoy and use today, with a color palette that’s refreshing and comforting.
- write blog posts that encourage positive discussion, personal growth, and connection with like-minded bloggers.
Evaluating the influences in our life that we have creative control over helps remind us that we have the power to change our lives, if even in the smallest of ways! It’s been amazing to me how quickly I’ve started to feel better after doing a social media, hobby, and friendship refresh. I would think that my discontentment had a bigger root than just the influences currently in my life, but that didn’t turn out to be true.
I really enjoyed writing this post! Thank you so much for reading it ❤