Hi! Welcome back to Chickadee Lover Maggie, the blog where I review books, share funny photoshoots, talk about my interests, and so much more. Thanks for being here!
I’d like to mention something important before getting into this post. A fellow blogger, Introverted Thoughts, brought to my attention that today, September 10th, is World Suicide Prevention Day. Please take a moment to check out the poem Introverted Thoughts wrote here, and visit the International Association for Suicide Prevention website. It would mean a lot to me. 🙂 ❤
Today’s post is the third installment in the series where I’m researching and sharing my findings on self-esteem and other interrelated elements that make up how we view ourselves. I’ve learned a lot and I’m really happy with where this series is going! If you need to get caught up, go read this post where I introduced the post topic and talked a little about my history with self-esteem. The next post (right here) covered self-efficacy, where I learned how to pronounce it ( 😉 ), what it is, and how important it is to have!
Today I’m learning more about self-compassion, because that’s the one thing that keeps coming to mind when I think about positively changing the way I treat myself.
what is self-compassion?
a little chat
Self-compassion is looking at your situation from a detached perspective so you can learn about what you’re capable of. It involves treating yourself the same way you treat others who are struggling, because we’re all human and we have a breaking point, a limit, and a maximum we reach. We do not have limitless strength or the ability to approach every situation in our lives with the “perfect” response, action plan, and outcome. That’s because we’re all learning about life together, and to believe for a moment that we “should have” known what to do and been able to respond differently in a situation that sent us into overload is absolutely false.
It’s crazy because so often, when we see other people working through a situation similar to our own, we immediately hop on board understanding where they’re coming from, responding compassionately and in a forgiving manner, helping them as much as we can, and being kind and encouraging.
Do you know how awesome it would be if we could all turn this compassion inward?
What if our inner voice was a motivating life coach, a friend who wants the best for us?
Our lives will change so much when we become our own biggest supporter.
Now, I’m obviously not saying to ditch your friends because your own encouragement is all you’ll ever need. 😉 Support from others plays a huge role in our mental well-being. But before we can really begin to accept advice and help from others, it begins with the mindset we use with ourselves.
Okay I saw this Tumblr post on Pinterest forever ago and I JUST rediscovered it!
Can you see how true this is?? I had no idea how much something from Tumblr could have an impact on me. You combine a funny perspective with some solid advice, and bam – you’ve changed me.
note-taking: things I’ve learned about self-compassion
Now it’s time for some helpful advice from the experts! While working on this post, I read a bit from this article, which I would recommend checking out for yourself to learn more. That website is great because it talks about psychology in a way that’s helpful and positive!
- Our inner voice is conditioned by the people who raised us and those we spend the most time around. So we don’t make a choice on the way we grow up talking to ourselves. But it is up to us to be intentional about changing the way we treat ourselves as we get older!
- When we believe we can’t or won’t be able to do something, that mental approach often becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy. It’s like that quote by Henry Ford: “Whether you think you can, or you think you can’t – you’re right.” Our inner voice sets the tone. We choose whether or not we believe it.
- “People generally try to hide their shortcomings in order to maintain a positive self-image.” BOY! Yes, this has been me for a while. What I blog about? All the things I’m confident in and really good at. Anything in my real life that I’m mediocre at? I leave on the sidelines, the back burner, whatever, because I don’t like feeling like I can’t do something. Well, you know how creepy it’d be if I could do it all? x) There’d be no reason for me to keep learning! What would be the point of me being here if I already had everything mastered?
- Think about the way you treat and feel toward people you care about the most. That’s a good model for how you can begin to be compassionate toward yourself!
- Your friends love you for YOU, not because you’re perfect. Because of how we often view ourselves, we may think that when we’re performing at 100%, that’s when we’re accepted by others. But our friends aren’t in our head; they love our personality and our presence. When I think about how I feel toward my friends, I definitely don’t sit around thinking about their shortcomings, and my feelings don’t change when they’re being “perfect.” What I see is how they’re feeling, if we’re having a good time chatting, and if I can help them with anything.
- Being in a fixed mindset instead of a growth mindset changes how we approach learning situations. By acknowledging that there’s always more for us to learn, we embrace challenges and grow through them.
- Be grateful for what you do have and what you can do. Doing this will enable you to approach difficulty with a proper understanding of what you’re capable of and what your strong points are.
- Practice being aware of your thought patterns and intentionally setting the tone. Just because a thought’s there doesn’t mean it’s real and you have to listen to it. That’s something I’ve been learning about while focusing on my own mental health.
Instead of believing intrusive thoughts have to go away before I can have a positive outlook on life, I acknowledge them, choose what I do want to focus on and believe about myself, and let the incorrect thinking go.
Thank you so much for reading today’s post! I wish you the best of luck on nourishing your own self-compassion. Stuff’s going to happen in life that’s hard and challenging. Our goal should not be to stop or look away from those difficulties – as we learn more about and focus on what we’re capable of, we’ll be able to grow through those experiences and share our story with others.